Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
