That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
