as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
