I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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