I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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