This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
