Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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