is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
