Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
