That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
