I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
