We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Randomize
