I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
