so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
is that a dick in a sweater?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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