And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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