Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
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