I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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