i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
