Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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