Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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