i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
