Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize