90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
