I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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