marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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