she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
