made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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