theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
