So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
