Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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