Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
