We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize
