I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
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So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
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