so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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