The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
