i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
you never un-have a 4some
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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