i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
