There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
