Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
pop tarts are not kleenex
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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