Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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