just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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