recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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