Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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