There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
she looked like the before picture.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
