I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
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No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my night got REAL pukey
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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