I hate your face
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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