Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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