Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
