I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.