she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup