Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I want to be your penis for a week.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.