And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
