What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
