you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
