the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
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