She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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