he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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