Its about making memories worth repressing
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
How does it feel to date your dad?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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