Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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