Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
