What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Dick very happy bro
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
