Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
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