and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
