i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'm always down for nudity.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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