Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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