I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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